Heart in a Headlock

July 21 2007

After cellgroup, Nick gave us pieces of paper, for us to journal in or something. He will compile it for his assignment. He gave us free rein on what to do, just express ourselves. Since it has been a few months since I tasked myself to do something creative, I jumped at the chance. And asked another piece for my brother to do (since he was so free).

Fidelity

 This is like one of my fave songs. It’s by Regina Spektor, this song made me really, really like her! Enjoy!

Wedding Song Potential

I’ll Still Be Me

Woke up in the middle of the night and saw you sleepin’
I was hopin’ you were dreamin’ about me
Kissed your cheek and said “I love you”
You reached for me and then you mumbled
“I love you too, is everything ok?”

I said I’m fine baby, go back to sleep
I’ve just been thinkin’ life is changin’ ’round us
And I hope you believe

I’ll still be me
Just a normal girl from small town nowhere
I’ll still hold your hand and wear this ring
I’ll still be me
If you can count on one thing, I’ll be here
The same girl that you’ve known for centuries
I’ll still be me

Fellowship of the Unashamed

I am part of the Fellowship of the Unashamed. The die has been cast, the decision has been made, I have stepped over the line. I’m a disciple of His and  I won’t look back, slow down, back away, or be still.

 My past is redeemed, my present makes sense. My future is secure. I am done with low-living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap giving and dwarfed goals.

 I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity.I don’t have to be right, or first, or tops, or praised, or recognized, or rewarded, or regarded. I live by faith, lean on His presence, love with patience, lift by prayer, and labour by the Holy Spirit power.

My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven. My road may be narrow, my way rough, and my companions few, but my Guide is reliable and my mission is clear.

I will not be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed.  I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice or hesitate in the presence of the adversary. I will not negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, nor meander in the maze of mediocity.

I won’t give up, or shut up, or let up or slow up, until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up and spoken up for the cause of Christ.

I am a disciple of Jesus, I must give until  I drop, preach until all will know, and work until He comes.

And when He does come for His own, He’ll have no problems recognizing me. My banner is clear. I am part of the Fellowship of the Unashamed!

I was listening to Dr. Phil Pringle’s podcast and he read this at the end of the sermon. It’s just uplifting!

No Membership Fee Required

You know how when you want to be part of some group or clique? Or this uber-cool club?Where you need to give out your qualifications and relevant experiences, and sometimes even financial status? When you need to have a certain “look”, a certain skin color, a certain dress size? When you get in because of the certifications and recommendations you have collected? When you need to learn how to speak their jargon without coming across as foreign? Or God forbid that these people who you so want to impress ever see you wear middle-tier designer clothes?

We all have that longing to be IN, no matter how we stress individuality and uniqueness. To belong is a nice feeling. But it comes with a price, and yes, you get tagged, labelled and sealed to that idea or group.

I wasn’t really thinking about this, but I was just wondering why I feel like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole. I do not want to re-live the feeling of being an outsider, or that I infiltrated a group, and no matter what I do, I fall short. Rachel Scott struggled with this feeling when she wrote that she sometimes looked for the approval of the righteous people rather than the Righteous One.

Then, today at CG, while singing Heart of Worship, I sensed in my spirit, that He was telling me:

“You can come to Me, there’s no membership fee required. You don’t need to bring anything along but yourself, it doesn’t matter what your skin color, your family background, your age, your educational attainment is. I do not look at the qualifications. Won’t you come just as you are today? You can enjoy fellowship with Me and completeness in Me.  There is no membership fee because I have already paid for you with My blood, if you believe in Me, then you are in union with Me. Forever. “

The awesome thing with being a Christian is the freedom that comes in believing God. There is liberty in prayer, in an everyday life with Him, a confidence that can never be explained fully. I am by nature a social person, but the Great Displacement (also known as the time I moved to Singapore) has dashed my self-esteem countless of times. And I feel bitter and resentful, about people in general. And today, it’s just great to learn, that even in the tiniest wishes, God still proves Himself, faithful.

Nice one, Jesus!

Serene prophesied in CG today and I was touched by what she said:

“Even before you fight in the war, you already have the victory. You just need to get in and fight!”

Bibliophilia!

Hi Guys!

 Please do check the Library tab on my webpage for the list of books that are available for borrowing. Due to Sandy’s overwhelming response, I have now decided to allow only TWO books per reader friend.

The list has recently been updated.

Just Move On

You can spend your whole life building
Something from nothin’
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain’t good
And when I pray
It doesn’t always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

This world’s gone crazy
It’s hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
In a moment they can choose to walk away
Love ‘em anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain’t good
And when I pray
It doesn’t always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
Yeah – I do it anyway

You can pour your soul out singing
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they’ll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yeah – sing it anyway

I sing
I dream
I love
Anyway

Anyway, Martina McBride

 Someone shared with me this lovely song today. When you feel like no one appreciates or acknowledges what you’re doing, what you’re going through, what you’re feeling, it’s easy to be all bitter and allow resentment to encrust your heart until it becomes an impenetrable shell.

But loving and living entails risk and sacrifice, and sure some scratches and growth pains – MAJOR growth pains can sidetrack you a little, but one thing I have learned these days is to not to be reactive but proactive. And that’s where focus comes into play. Goals and dreams give you meaning. This may happen, but I’ll do it anyway. After all, only the hen sat its way to success, right?

These uber-sweet treats are available at Tampines Mall at 2 for SGD3.50. A tad too sweet for my taste but they just look so adorable!!! So far I only tasted Eeyore (Kuya Mirt said that Eeyore looked the most delish!) and Piglet (I choked on Piglet’s ear!).

I have been doing some major revamping in my life, so get ready for changes, some minor ones and a lot of major ones. It’s hard finding a trusty listening ear, who would really just listen, so I have two current outlets, my journal (which is running out of space, imagine I used 150 pages in 3 months!) and my Confidante, the One who I can always rely on.

Wrote two songs this month…I am so happy, happy, joy, joy!

 

 

 

Prayer

here i am alone and brokenhearted

take me to the place where this all started

i will wrestle with You and never let go

until Your blessing is upon me

 

i am unofficially back

 

…And Then the Prince Knelt Down and Tried to Put the Glass Slipper on Cinderella’s Foot

by Judith Viorst

I really didn’t notice that he had a funny nose.
And he certainly looked better all dressed up in fancy clothes.
He’s not nearly as attractive as he seemed the other night.
So I think I’ll just pretend that this glass slipper feels too tight.

credits: http://www.ucalgary.ca/~dkbrown/fft.html

Made You Up (Inside My Head)

04.07.2005

This is actually taken from the line of Sylvia Plath’s poem Mad Girl’s love Song which I read in http://livewire.blogspirit.com.I kinda felt it was a good phrase to start with.

I could never see your face

but you fill up the empty space

makes me think that i just

made you up inside my head

an illusion from a brain contussion and I

could never forget…

But how you smiled at me

and it made me feel complete

with the flick of the wrist

fate gave a twist and you’re gone

i always went back to where you were

waiting if something else stirred and

as I lay with images of you floating

around my bed

i wonder, if I just made you up inside of my head…