Top Posts For April And A Whole Pile of Thoughts

This was supposed to be three posts, but, I’m too tired to actually post three times, basically this is a cognitive diarrhea/diarrhoea (I can’t get the complicated way it’s spelled in British) type of post.

So I suggest you read the top posts for April first and then continue reading at your own risk, whether it be for boredom or for a sincere concern on a) WOE (what on earth) am I up to/have been through, b) a recent spiritual spanking that I had undergone; and c) Other random stuff that don’t fit in the previous categories.

So you have been forewarned. This is a looong post, a post which violates what ProBloggers have set forth as ways to keep the reader’s attention, but I am kind hence there will be a cut after the top posts section .

On April – Books, Movies, Music, People and Writing

This month, has been super eventful among other things. I went through a lot of changes both pleasant and ones that leave a slightly bitter aftertaste in your mouth.

I read a lot of novels, poetry, and other non fiction, which I feel has made me more in touch with the world around me. I had my share of chick lits, thrillers, review books, poetry books, self-help books this month. It feels good to read again!

I watched more movies this month than I could have ever watched last year. I also learned about other thespians that I would want to watch more, and movies which I think I should really watch aside from Across the Universe like Miss Pettigrew Lives for A Day (because of Lee Pace), like Angels and Demons (which I liked way better than the Da Vinci Code, because before reading the novel I shocked my friend into guessing what happened to the pope, a very lucky educated guess indeed!), Harold and Kumar 2 (I watched the first one and it’s hilarious, so yeah, I would want to watch this), the Dark Knight, The Time Traveler’s Wife, Indiana Jones, and Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist. Suddenly, I have this hunger for movies again.

I was introduced to a lot of bands and genres of music that I never thought existed. I told Tee that I am open to new bands, TV shows and movies. I don’t have a set preference since, my taste in music ranges from RnB to Alternative. In fact, I am now interested in Broadway musicals, I have memorized three songs from the Legally Blonde Musical, I am still loving Wicked, and would want to watch Aida. But I still love Death Cab for Cutie the most, I also liked (much to my surprise), Amy Winehouse’s version of Valerie, and also discovered that I like Indiefunk.

I met quite a number of people both online and in real life. People who have inspired me, who have allowed me into their lives (a fact of which I am eternally grateful), who through their faith in me made me believe in myself, who showed me a side of life that I have never been privy to, and of course those who have made me laugh.

I write more these days. Mostly for myself, which is even more pressure if you ask me. It’s all those How To Be A Writer books that I’ve read. And I won’t edit this post because I know I wouldn’t be able to post it online if I did. But yes, at least I write, finding my voice once again. Looking for my muse, learning words, discovering how to observe and translate those observations in words.

Spiritual Spanking

Do you know how you it is when you try to ignore God when He’s trying to tell you something? I don’t.

Seriously, I can be very dense at times, which exasperate people around me (those who know me long enough). So it was with great surprise and shock that I received a spiritual spanking last Sunday during service.

There I was asking God for a word from Him, I didn’t even thought He’d respond with a tearjerker because, service was just “normal”, I seem to formulate a misconception that God can speak to me when the church has guest speakers . But I was really expecting something encouraging you know, like bright lights, smoke effects, angels singing in the background kind. While in worship, I “heard” it clearly in my spirit, I was jolted at the words:

Do Not Despise Your Anointing

Very straightforward, just like that. I was hoping I’d hear more but I didn’t. Tears formed in my eyes because I knew I wasn’t really doing what God had wanted me to do in my life. I mean, sure I am still in the path of His will, except that I feel something is missing.

I cried because I know He believed in what I can do, but I was just too afraid to even step out from my comfort zone (which is very small). Tears fell because I have always said that my life was meant for Him and yet with the way I’m living, it’s not just what He has thought for it to be.

After recovering from the shock, I began to think what God meant. OK, I know what He meant, I know that He gave me a gift and an anointing in one area which I am not using for His kingdom. The question is, what was it that He anointed me to do?

I prayed, and what I received was this, whatever I do, I must think of just one thing: Obeying Him. Even if I get rejected, set aside, passed by, humiliated, shamed, and let’s face it, being nailed publicly to the cross, as long as I’m obeying Him, my joy is complete. Nice one, but I really wanted to know what He meant by the anointing on me!!!

I of course, asked my Mom about it, and that night she also prayed for revelation like I did. She told me something that impressed her heart about the area which I am neglecting, it blew me away because it seemed unlikely, coming from her even! Haha…so I really think that God had spoken to her about it.

But yeah, I am asking, asking God to teach me, to show me more. I want to find out so badly because I know breakthrough will come once I move in that direction.

I need confirmation. Serious confirmation about it, so if you’re reading, please pray for me.

The Random Stuff

My sleeping hours have gone haywire. My body wakes at 10am and sleeps at 3am. I hate it so bad. But I can’t seem to sleep decently.

I realized that I am not too trusting with people, I am very cautious and skeptical. Well, ok it depends with which kind of people.

I took a Rorschach inkblot test and my results said that I am a balanced individual in relationships, in fantasizing, in everything. At last, a psych test that didn’t say I was borderline neurotic! The tests gave me eye strain and I really couldn’t see the connection between my personality and those weird shapes.

Yesterday, I went to Plaza Singapura for my paper fix. I bought a vintage paper for Ghindie’s commissioned notebook. Will get down to it soon!

Then met my parents at City Hall. We then met my sister at Tampines to have lunch. My Mom suggested Swensen’s, I protested because, really, we just need lunch and not a gaping hole on my Dad’s wallet. And since she was adamant not to eat at foodcourts (only in Singapore though) and hawker centres, we settled on Long John’s, because she was also sick of Mickey D’s and didn’t like KFC. But my sister detests…detests…LJS, she hates the food there. She was like, can we go somewhere else? Cellgroup members do take note

I want to go to the National Skin Centre at Novena as soon as I have enough income (READ: a part time job!), have them take a look at my skin asthma also known as Atopic Dermatitis. Yes, there is such a thing and I thank Carisse for pointing that out to me when she saw my arms four years ago. Apparently, there is no cure, but I just want to put it under control. It’s become very abrasive, and besides I can’t wear what I want to wear.

I have been thinking about having lesser material possessions. It may be because I have always felt that I would lead a transient life. Plus I would like lesser baggage. But I also love to collect stuff, if it were not for the space restrictions I would have collected a lot of things by now. So right now, my collections are 2D, stamps, stationery, stickers, flyers, postcards etc…the only 3D objects would be small found objects. *SIGH*

So I never really blogged a lot this month, did I?

It’s a good sign though, it means I am actually living a life!

Living Creatively Ever After