I’m Not Alright

I love to read creative people’s blogs, like hers, hers, hers, hers and a bit of his. Through the powerful force of linking I came upon HER BLOG, where she shared this song in this post:

If weakness is a wound
That no one wants to speak of
Then “cool” is just how far we have to fall
I am not immune
I only want to be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall
Can I lose my need to impress?
If you want the truth, I need to confess

I’m not alright
I’m broken inside, broken inside
And all I go through
It leads me to you, it leads me to you

Burn away the pride
Bring me to my weakness
Until everything I hide behind is gone
And when I’m open wide
With nothing left to cling to
Only you are there to lead me on
Cause honestly, I’m not that strong

I’m not alright
I’m broken inside, broken inside
And all I go through
It leads me to you, it leads me to you

And I move, and I move, and I move…closer to you
And I move, and I move, and I move…closer to you
And I move, and I move, and I move…closer to you
And I move, and I move, and I move…

I’m not alright
I’m broken inside, broken inside
broken inside, broken inside
And all I go through
Leads me to you, leads me to you

I’m not alright, I’m not alright, I’m not alright…that’s why I need you
–Sanctus Real

And really, I can say that I’m not alright, that’s why I need You. I can never be OK without Him, sometimes I think of what-ifs and I shudder at the thought. Knowing who I was, where I had been and who I would have become without Him scares me.

But there are moments when I feel strong, that I can take the world on, and when everything falls apart I become aware of my pride. I realise it too late though. I don’t want that feeling of independence from God, and so my prayer is that I’ll always be broken before Him and remember all the wonderful things He has done.